It is fitting that I had this experience while out walking with Hawk in Coolidge Corner.
Since Hawk came to me at five months of age, I have spent a great deal of time giving her thoughtful socialization experiences — helping her see the world, process novelty, and move through busy environments in a way that felt safe and manageable for her.
Coolidge Corner on a beautiful Saturday can be a lot for any dog. Crowds, noise, bicycles, runners, children, food smells, traffic, unpredictability — it is a rich environment and, at the same time, a demanding one.
That day, Hawk did beautifully.
She noticed people using canes, a runner moving quickly, bustling foot traffic, and, at one point, had a lovely interaction with a woman in a wheelchair who engaged me first from a respectful distance and asked permission before greeting her.
That mattered.
Socialization Is Not Flooding
As we moved through the neighborhood, I gave Hawk space to observe. I slowed when needed, adjusted our path to give her room, and let her take in the environment without overwhelming her.
At one point she needed a breather off the pavement to sniff and decompress. That is normal. New experiences, even positive ones, can be stressful. Part of good socialization is not just exposing dogs to the world, but helping them move through it without being pushed too far.
My goal is always to let a dog see people, places, and things, and show me what they can handle — and no more.
Then Came the Problem
Later, after a successful outing that included all sorts of novelty, I was standing with Hawk outside Brookline Booksmith. I positioned us carefully so passersby would not be coming straight at her.
I saw a young man notice Hawk and head directly toward her. He stopped close, crouched, and extended a hand under her chin. He did everything right except for one very important thing:
He never engaged me first.
He did not ask. He did not pause. He did not allow me, as Hawk’s person and advocate, to have any say in the interaction.
It was not that Hawk reacted badly.
It was that he bypassed the human responsible for her.
Ask First. Always.
In dog bite prevention education, children are taught to ask permission before greeting a dog.
Adults should do the same.
Dog owners and handlers have every right — and every responsibility — to protect their dog’s behavioral well-being. That means managing interactions, reading the dog in the moment, and deciding whether a greeting is appropriate.
Not every dog wants to be touched.
Not every dog is comfortable with strangers.
Not every dog should be greeted just because they are beautiful, calm, or standing nearby.
And not every successful outing needs to end with a stranger leaning in.
Asking first is a small act of respect. It protects dogs, protects people, and helps create better everyday interactions in the world we share.
So yes, I still think it is a fair question:
Is it really too much to ask adults to ask permission before greeting someone else’s dog?
Want help teaching your dog to navigate the world more comfortably — or advocating for a dog who needs more space?
The Cooperative Dog offers private coaching, group classes, and behavior consultations for real-life training and behavior support.
